A good portion of my time here, especially in the early months, has been spent listening. Often, listening was my only option, as my ability to speak the language was minimal, at best. Perhaps “forced listening” is a better was to describe it. Initially, I understood very little, but by God’s grace alone, my understanding has increased and I can now follow most conversations. However, understanding conversations in the local language still does not come easy for me – it requires my full attention and all the brainpower I can muster up – but, I am thankful I don’t spend as much time getting lost in conversations anymore. I have learned that ones ability to understand a new language develops more quickly than ones ability to actually speak the language, resulting in spending lots of time simply listening. It is no surprise then that I have been able to use my two ears and mouth proportionally.

Although I was initially frustrated, as all I wanted to do was speak and contribute to conversations, I began seeing how God was trying to teach me a lesson about the importance of listening. The importance of being fully present in conversations, giving others my complete attention, and not thinking about what needed to come out of my mouth next. It needs to be more about them then about me.  There is so much to learn from others and about others by simply spending more time listening or asking them questions, rather than always trying to add my two cents in.

But then the Lord took this lesson in listening a step further, showing me how I needed to grow in listening to Him. For too long, much of my time spent with Him was heaping up a list of requests, asking Him questions, but dashing out the door before I even gave Him a chance to answer me.  It was a one-sided conversation.  In order to listen – and listen well – I needed to pursue solitude and silence, and minimize the things that were causing me to flea before even receiving an answer.

“It is solitude and solitude alone that opens the possibility of a radical relationship to God that can withstand all external events up to and beyond death” –Dallas Willard

God is teaching me that solitude involves intentional withdrawing from activity and busyness, and that silence involves the intentional quieting of my mind and the reduction of noise around me. He is showing me that being attentive to him and his spirit involves desire, availability, focus, reflecting, discerning and responding.   He is showing me that I need to change my experience with the world, namely the busyness, noise, distraction, and fast pace of life. That type of life only results in me losing sacred time for intimacy with Christ and others, and a diminished capacity for being attentive and aware of the presence of God. Ronald Rolsheiser says it well, “God is present with us but we are oblivious to that presence.” God is always present, waiting for me to turn to him in prayer, and to be satisfied in him alone, but far too often I’m oblivious to that presence.  

All throughout scripture we see individuals who were mightily used by God and had an intimate relationship with him taking the time to seek solitude and listen. We see Moses in the desert, young Samuel in the temple, the future king David as a fugitive on the run, Eli as an exiled prophet in the wilderness, and Jesus himself seeking silence and solitude to meet with God.

“But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.” Luke 5:15-16

“And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” Mark 1: 35

If Jesus himself sought silence and solitude, how much more do I also need to actively pursue this? If I want to hear his voice, KNOW his voice (after all, the sheep know the shepherd’s voice), and have a deep, authentic, and abiding relationship with Christ, I must order my life in such a way that silence and solitude are very much apart of it. Listening to God in these times of solitude is not just a passive exercise, but as mentioned above, requires focus, and the removal of noise and distraction. Interestingly, I recently learned that in Latin “to listen” is intimately connected with “to obey.” Therefore, we listen so that we can obey. And we obey because we love. The more I think about listening and reflect on what He is teaching me, the more I realize that listening well is hard work indeed. But, I am seeing that loving, listening and obeying are like three strands twisted together in order to make the one strong rope. They are intricately bound together.  I want to hear his voice, so I can obey his voice, because I love him.  I want to be more aware of his continual presence, filled with his joy, and to know him more deeply.  And the beautiful thing is, He also wants the same for me…for you.

Early on in my time here in Central Asia, a friend concluded an email by saying the following, “Sometimes we need to learn in isolation from things that distract, before we really learn. May the Lord have all of you today Andrea and may YOU HAVE ALL OF HIM!” I have not forgotten those words, and perhaps now more than ever, by His grace, I better understand what those words really meant.

With love, and Happy Easter to you all.  I am so thankful to be serving our risen Lord.